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How to raise happy and secure children.


For ages, raising youth was based on altruistic values. Every parent strives to equip his or her children with the best set of qualities they can use in their future lives. Intuitively, we teach them to be selfless.

The parents teach their offspring to treat people around them well because subconsciously they realize that, ultimately, if their kids end up mistreating people around them it will directly affect the parents as well. We want our children to feel secure in life, and we feel that it would only be possible if we raise them to be selfless -- because a person's security depends on his surroundings, where he or she is treated according to their behavior. Any harm caused to the person stems from his or her immediate surroundings, and behaving selflessly increases the chance of that person being treated with loyalty and in a friendly manner.

Any society -- in any country and at any age -- tries to provide an altruistic foundation for the younger generations. Only a dictator, who possesses limitless power and who has an army at his disposal, can afford to allow his child to grow up to be cruel, uncompromising and repressing others. His successor would need a very large and strong staff of bodyguards to survive. He would have to use military force to deal with the opposition from his subjects. Even if no one decides to harm him he won't be able to realize his destructive, militant plans without applying force.

On the other hand, a benevolent, respectful attitude toward the others makes the person feel secure, at ease, and peaceful -- and that's why parents try to raise their children in this fashion. However, with time children notice that their own parents don't stick to those very same altruistic principles in their own relationships, and grow up being as selfish as the people who have taught them to be selfless.

Proper upbringing is taught by example. Do we provide our children with the examples of selfless behavior? No, though we instill it starting in their infancy. A child who sees that his or her own parents don't adhere to the behavioral norms they themselves set realizes that their words are empty and deceiving. No matter how many times we tell our child how to behave toward the others our words won't have the desired effect.

Today's crisis and the current threat to our very existence call for change. Up until now, as a rule, we subconsciously raised our children to be selfless, but without serving as a personal example to support it. However, starting now, we have no choice but to change our own selfish attitude toward the others. As more and more people will become involved the reality in which our children will be born and will live will change. They will easily grasp the belief we've had a hard time adopting -- that we all are part of one system, and therefore our relationships must be altruistic in nature. We can't do better than that -- not for our children, and not for ourselves.